I thought I would share an inspiring story from my life.
A personal story.
I grew up in an unusual situation. My father was a private chauffeur and his job required him to move two times a year. Because of this I would have to start school in New York, then in November move to Florida and go to school there untill around April. In April I would have to move back north again and finish out my year in New York.
Additionally I was not socialized properly as a child as my parents were 42 and 45 when they had me. My siblings and cousins were all grown adults by the time I was ready to start playing, this meant there were no children my age for me to play with. This situation made it nearly impossible to develop friendships and more often then not made me the brunt of brutal teasing paired with the occasional beating. To make the situation worse, if that is possible, I was the smallest child in my class.
I attended Catholic school for the entire 12 years of school. For some strange reason my Catholic school experience didn't mimic many of the horror stories I am sure you have heard. Oh, the children were horrible, but the teachers were wonderful. My favorite class was religion, and again, for whatever reason, I didn't have the horrible experience that most do when they learn about the Catholic faith. For me, in those classes, I found friends. The bible is filled with stories of people facing challenge after challenge in horrible situations and yet they succeed.
I learned about this man Jesus who hung out with a bunch of fisherman and partied a lot. He taught people how to treat one another. He said the most important thing was love, paired with forgiveness. I bought into this whole story hook, line and sinker. (Forgive the fishing pun)
One of the lines that suck out in my mind was the quote "If someone slaps you, turn the other cheek." Now this is a very upsetting statement in any day and age, but to me it made sense if you were going to believe what Jesus said. As an adult I can explain this statement to you in a way you would understand and in a way that may make sense to you.. I can also tell you the origins of the story and what the hidden meanings are. This isn't a religion lesson or spiritual lecture and not the focus of this story.
This story however, is simply about that one quote, take literally.
As a child I never fought back. I always took the teasing, or the beating and responded with kindness. In the long run, it paid off in many ways. Even as a child I was able to see why this was good advice. I have quite a few stories of how this worked for me as a child. As I grew into adulthood, it became more difficult a lesson to follow, (the ego grows as we do) but I did try to continue. As an adult, one time in particular, following the advise "turn the other cheek", really became a gift.
Back in the 80's I worked in a small international airport for a major car rental company. Our rental desk was circular with our rental company facing the back of the airport, and the competition's agency facing the front. Each day I came to work I would have to pass the other company's desk to get to my side. While the companies were each others competition, we employees were friends and always cordial to one another. However, there was one girl who worked on our competition side who was particularly unpleasant to me.
Each morning she would make certain to give me an out right sneer, especially if she were alone. If there were others at the desk there would be more of a show. On these occasions she would sneer first, then with theatrical proportionate movement, start whispering behind her hand while looking right at me. She wanted to make it clearly evident that she was talking about me and that it wasn't nice. This became a daily routine.
Months went by when one afternoon I went out to my car and found the girl stranded by hers. She looked upset. I put my stuff in my car and walked over to her.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"My car won't start" she replied.
"Do you know what's wrong?" I inquired.
She answered "I think its out of gas."
"Can I take a look?" I said tentatively.
"Sure" she quipped.
After a quick look I said "I will be back in 15 minutes. I know someone who lives about a half mile from here. I'm going to go grab their gas tank and be back."
She looked at me dumbfounded and said "OK".
Now, I know you must be thinking, we are at an airport, there must be a dozen or so other people who could have helped her! Well, there may have been one or two, but they would have been hard to find and the whole process would have taken her at least an hour. This was a very small, and usually deserted airport even well into the 90's. (Boy could I tell you airport stories that would curl you national security toes!) So I run off, get the gas and put some in her tank for her. She gets in and try's the ignition. The car still won't start. Luckily, back then, I knew a thing or two about cars and had reserved a bit of gas for the carburetor. I poured some gas into the carburetor and told her to give it another shot. Still no response from the engine. I went to my car and got a pencil. I shoved the pencil in the carburetor and I told her to try again. Vrooooommmm! It started right up.
With that the girl got out of her car and said "Why did you do that?"
HUH? I mumbled.
"Why did you do that?" she asked again.
"Oh, I said, the carburetor needed more are to get the gas to the engine and the pencil held it open and to allow the air flow." I explained
"No. Why did you help me?" she clarified herself a bit incredulously.
"Oh, well, ummm, you were stuck and needed help." I explained a bit puzzled.
With complete disbelief and a hint of defensiveness she said "But I have never been anything but nasty to you, why would you do this for me?"
I looked her in the eye and said, "I know. But, you needed help. There is no one else here who can help you. I was not going to leave you stranded for hours awaiting help when it would take me all of 20 minutes to help you. You needed help, so I helped you."
"Thank You" she said. "I can't believe that you would do this for me after how I have treated you. Thank You very much." and she smiled at me and got in her car.
"Your Welcome" I said, and I smiled at her and got in my car.
Work was very different after that. We never became friends, but she was always cordial and polite after that. I believe something changed in her that day. I believe she learned something about kindness and people that she never knew before.
The gift for me was being able to be an instrument in her learning that kindness exists. The gift is that and God, the universe, or whatever you want to call it, allowed me to witness it.
Kindness. It is mightier then the sword and when used. You have know idea what changes you can make in the world when you choose kindness as a response.
