Call 911 I'm Stuck To My Chair

        This just may be my best coaching tip yet!

                                  

Now, this tip is really just for the girls, but guys please read it as you just may save your SOB a lot of undue pain.  (SOB stands for Significant Other Being)

Everyone in J-land is complaining about the heat.  With the heat comes shorts, skirts, bathing suits and bear legs.  You are going about your day and unwittingly sit down with no forethought of the attack that is about to take place.  It could happen any where, a stadium chair, a church pew, a car seat, a park bench, you never know when it will happen.  You are sitting in the seat, minding your own business, and then it assault takes place.  You have to get up out of the chair to go do something.  That is when you realize that the chair has laid its claim on the back of your legs with an unrelenting grip.  As you slowly lift yourself out of the chair you pray that no one will see the tears streaming down your face.  Once you have freed your self from the vice grip hold this inanimate object has on you, you look to the spot to check to see how much of your leg will need to be reattached at the emergency room, as you are fairly certain that you have left a minimum of six layers of epidermis on the surface below.

Now ladies I bear tidings of great joy.  I have developed a cure!!!   It was quite by accident and all thanks to a mosquito whom I never got to thank!  Last summer I was sitting on my wooden chair working on my computer.  I had a mosquito bite on the back of my leg about 4 inches past the crease of my knee.  The heat from the chair started to bother the bite on the back of my leg and begged to be scratched.  So, I lifted my knee off of the chair towards the direction of my chest and applied my nails to the area.  I no sooner got done with that task when the bite on the back of my other leg begged for attention as well.  Obligingly I lifted my other leg, in the same manner, and gave that bite equal time.  It was at that moment the phone rang and I had to go in search of the phone.  (No one puts it back where it belongs, including me!)  I jumped up from the chair and realized I didn't stick!  There was no pain.  Now this was immediately obvious to me as early in the summer my chairs train me well on how to remove myself slowly as to cause the least amount of pain. So, when I accidentally jumped up, it was quite apparent that the chair had a secret it wasn't telling.  There was in fact an easy way to release yourself from its clutches!

Ladies, try it!  Next time you are stuck to your chair lift your knee  and bring it slightly towards your chest. This will release the skin very easily from the suction the chair has on you making it simple to ease yourself out of your chair with no pain involved. Now if you are the type that likes to experiment, you can lift one knee and not the other and in one quick step try out both methods!  Choose which leg you like best before you conduct this experiment.

Good luck and share this with everyone and let me know what the results are!

(Men do not go through this.  I checked.  It seems they have a protective layer of hair that frees them from this burdensome pain.  But just so you guys know what the pain is a kin to; Imagine getting a paper cut and pouring lemon juice on it.)

Tags: Leg safety 411, 5659