My eldest child Michael was outside playing with three of his friends when he was about four years old. I hear one of the kids yelling "That's Not Fair!" Michael, at the ripe age of four yells back "Life's Not Fair!"
I have no idea what had happened, the boys worked whatever it was out quickly and without my help. I did learn that my son truly paid attention to what he was being taught and by the example that I tried to set.
(This particular lesson was that life is not fair. Bad things happen to good people for no apparent reason. Complaining about it does nothing. DO something about it, when you can, to change the situation, or DEAL with it the best you can)
On Monday Mary from Just Mary Commented and said:
Here is the main problem I see, as I stated on a comment I left about mistreatment of others on a different blog a while back, many adults(that is where kids learn it from) articulate one thing, but do another. We can talk about kinder, gentler people & love your neighbor, but it doesn't help unless we SHOW this to children. I mentioned on the other comment I left for someone that I once watched someone mistreat a handicapped person, & the man doing the mistreating was wearing a T-shirt that said Free Tibet. Free Tibet, but screw over the handicapped?
I must say I couldn't agree more. I have over 20 years of experience working with children and I can honestly say that I believe what kind of example you set is the most impresionable lesson you can teach a child.
If you say one thing and do another, they will see it.
If you want children to grow up and do the right thing, then you better be prepared to do the right thing yourself, no matter how hard it is.
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte
If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.
If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.
If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.
If children live with acceptance,
They learn to love.
If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.
If children live with honesty,
They learn truthfulness.
If children live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.
If children live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Lyrics to "Watching You" by Rodney Atkins
Driving through town just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
Till his nuggets were gone
Green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my breaks and mumbled under my breath
His fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap
Well then my four year old said a four letter word
That started with "s" and I was concerned
So I said son now now where did you learn to talk like that
[Chorus one]
He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you
We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said lord please help me help my stupid self
Then this side of bedtime later that night
Turning on my son's scooby doo nightlight
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
And spoke to god like he was talking to a friend
And I said son now where'd you learn to pray like that
[Chorus two]
He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We like fixing things and holding mama's hand
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you
[Bridge]
With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug
Said my little bear is growing up
He said but when I'm big I'll still know what to do
[Chorus three]
Cause I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
By then I'll be as strong as superman
We'll be just alike, hey won't we dad
When I can do everything you do
Cause I've been watching you
9 comments:
Great entry Rosemary. 'Nuff Said.
Hugs, Joyce
I love this entry! We need to be kind to others. If our children don't see us doing it, why would they want to be kind themselves? We must teach by example.
And not just to show our children the way. To show each other the way. Let's all treat each other with kindness and respect!
Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Oh wow, I just watched the video, now I want to cry, but it's a good cry!
Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
Yup, life is not fair, but sometimes each of us benefit from that. People tend to mention when life not being fair works against them, but don't mention as often about when it works in their favor & they get something they should not, or do not deserve more than the next guy.
Also, unfairness can help you in ways you'd never imagine. I met someone in the workforce who was denied disability, truly believed she was disabled, but went to work because she had no other choice. She feels a hell of a lot more able now, & considers that particular bit of unfairness to have changed her life greatly for the better. Ya just never know. ~Mary
It's amazing to me how many people can't see that!!! Makes perfect sense to me... when you decide to have kids, you should also decide to live your life according to what you want them to see and be, nothing less.
Joann
I used to ponder and wonder about my daughter and the lessons I had taught her. This past year is a great example of what your talking about here. She did get it and by my example is a better person than I could of ever hoped for. It just tells you when you don't think they are listening, you can bet they are. (Hugs)Indigo
I know I haven't been around a lot lately to comment, but I have been reading. I think you already know I agree with the things you share here, and I still really appreciate the fact that you share it with all of J-Land. You know what I find really funny -- It's the like-minded people who read and comment here -- the ones who could really benefit from your lessons run away! Isn't that odd?
Martha :-)
hi rosemary, your entry has made me take a closer look at myself and i can see things differently now, thank-you. mrs t xxx
Hi Rosemary, I wanted to share this poem I used to carry with me when my daughters were young. Enjoy! Love, Doreen
SUCCESS
You can use most any measure
When you are speaking of success.
You can measure it in fancy home,
Expensive car, or dress.
But the measure of your real success
Is the one you cannot spend.
It's the way your kids describe you
When they are talking to a friend.
Christy H Richards, Fielding, Utah.
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