Saturday Funnies (Math)

I kept thinking it was Sunday all day.  Friday was so long and busy it seemed like two days.  I had to leave work early to clean up a flood my daughter caused by leaving the hose on. It leaked into the basement for two days.  After using two wet vac's to suck up an inch or so of water we ran out to see a friend in a play.

Pror to this my son  asked if he could have a few of this "boys's" over. (Fraternity Bothers)

I said "Sure!  How many?" 

"'bout 20" he replied.

"That's fine" (I know they are great kids)

By 11PM there were over 100 kids in my yard!  Only one neighbor complained.  We did point out that her daughter was here.

The kids were all very well behaved and quite a few stayed over to help clean up before they left.  It was an interesting night, and a long night, but all in all a good night.  But that is the story of why I keep thinking it is Sunday.

Soooo here are todays funnies:

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he willchange, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

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