Dealing with frustration.
The best way to deal with frustration is to do so before it occurs. Here are some ideas to try:
- Imagine each situation that frustrates you and create more positive ways to deal with it.
- Figure out why it frustrates you and whether your point of view is really valid. (you probably think it is, so you might want to ask others point of view as well)
- Imagine each situation and DEFEND the frustration.
- Try to imagine ways of avoiding the situation before it happens.
You may be a bit confused how to apply these things to your particular frustration, let me give you an example. One of the things that can really push my buttons is rude people. If I were to apply the above ideas here is how I would do it:
- I could treat the rude person politely and with kindness andperhaps this would cause, said rude person, to respond more positively. If this person is someone who is repetitively rude I might try to ask them to stop being rude.
- Rude people upset me because they are being inconsiderate and causing physical and mental discomfort to those around me and myself. (I did consult others on this) This is a valid frustration; however I can not escape rude people so I will have to find ways to deal with the situation in a positive manner when they occur. If this was not a valid frustration, I would consider ways to learn how not to allow these situations to upset me.
- Defending rudeness can be challenging, but it is possible. I usually try to imagine the person is in a hurry because they have someone at home who is ill. Perhaps they are ignorant and do not know the proper way to act. Sometimes I even try to imagine that they are just lost in their own little world for a moment. (We have all had that happen to us) Last, I imagine it is someone I know, who doesn’t realize they are being rude until the last moment, and then they apologize. These ideas seem to work very well for me.
- Avoiding a situation that frustrates you can often be very helpful to overcoming frustration completely. I know there are certain situations that will provide an abundance of rude people, crowded malls during the holidays, amusement parks during school breaks, grocery stores on weekends, etc. Avoidance in this situation isn’t denial, it is preparation and forethought.
While I know these suggestions will not work all of the time, they are steps I can take to minimize furstration. It does take planning on my part, however when I am forced to be in a situation where I must deal with rude people, I have more patience and I am better equipped to deal with my emotional reactions.
Try the steps above and let me know how they work for you.
(I know some of you were looking for the suggestion to pick up some over the counter pain killers and chase them down with a bottle of tequila. While I know perhaps that might be more fun, it is neither productive nor healthy!)
2 comments:
Tequila is bad. It gives you diarrhea. ;-P
I usually imagine whacking the crap out of said rude person with a pillow. just ::whack whack whack whack:: .....until I can't stop myself from smiling. Of course, the person probably thinks I'm insane for grinning like an idiot, but oh well.... LOL
~Amy
I sure wish I had read this before I went shopping today, lol. I got into a frascas with a man that shot into a parking spot I was waiting on. He gets out and I had the window down and he heard me say "I guess chilvary is dead." He looked over and said "How about who gets there first." I responded, "Now I know chilvary is dead." He says "Well what do you expect you look like a guy and you're driving a man's car." To which, I responded "Well you look like a boy and you're acting like one." He kept walking by that point. I parked, and got out of the car feeling frustrated and a bit hurt, and these two women my age drove up and parked. So, I asked them if they thought my car was a "man's car". They said no, and then I asked if I looked like a guy, and they laughed and said "no way", and asked why. I told them what happened, and they said I guess we look guys too then because we drive a jeep, some guys! But I like your idea about rationalizing, lol.
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