The Empathy Method
Using the Empathy method of gaining patience requires much more effort and imagination then finding your "happy place." It does however provide a broader range of recall and application. The empathy method requires you to walk a mile in the other persons shoes. When you are able put yourself in the place of the other person and truly experience their feelings, patience occurs naturally and often changes to a spirit of giving.
Let me give you an example:
Imagine you are on a crowded plane and you are seated in front of a young mother with a screaming child. This can be quite upsetting because you have nowhere to go, and no way of stopping the child from screaming. Neither does the mother of the child!
The empathy method would require you to think like the young mother.
Imagine this woman traveling alone with a small child in tow. It's been a long day for her and for the child. She has spent most of the day in worry. Worry that she will miss her flight. Worry that she has forgotten something for the child. Worry that the child will upset the people around her, you included. Worry that she will not be able to keep the child happy so that it doesn't upset other travelers. Worry that if she misses her flight it will cause financial hardship to her family, or that it will upset others schedules. Finally this young mother arrives on the flight, gets settled and attempts to settle the child. The child does nothing but scream.
If you take all of the scenarios above into your frame of reference, you now go from a frustrated and inpatient person, to a person with choices and options.
You could of course choose to remain annoyed and upset, or you could empathize with the woman and try one of the following options:
1) You could sit with patience and whisper a prayer to yourself for the woman.
2) Offer the woman assistance Perhaps she just needs some help.
3) Ask a flight attendant to assist the woman
4) Distract the child. Many times a child will calm down just by having someone new talk to them.
This is just one example. The empathy method works on many levels. It challenges the control of your emotions long enough to find empathy. Once you find empathy it challenges your imagination to find a variety of applicable situations. The beauty of empathy however, is that once you force yourself to use it in a new situation, it is always available for instant recall should the situation occur again.
1 comment:
Remember when I said: "I Feel: everything. and it is SO draining" Empathy.
I should really be medicated.... ;-P
~Amy
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