Now I promised I was going to put what we have been talking about into practical use. A quick recap of the posts from 3/3, 3/5, 3/10.
~ Get in touch with who you are. Leaving your Ego aside.
~ Trust that you are exactly where you need to be.
~ Try observing situations without letting your thoughts and feelings enter into it.
~ Practice being completely present in every situation.
COACHING ASSIGNMENT:
I don't ask my clients to try anything I have not tried myself. The posts this far have led up to this assignment.
RIDDING YOURSELF OF NEGATIVITY:
Negativity is like a cancer. It eats away at one's heart and soul and puts one in a foul mood. Then that foul mood goes out into the world and affects more people, putting them in a foul mood. Try applying the above concepts once this week to a situation in which you normally have a negative opinion or reaction to.
Here is my example:
On Thursday night I wanted to take a shower, however I couldn't because my daughter needed to take on. (ego is miffed) This meant I had to take one in the morning. (ego is miffed more) I really dislike taking showers in the morning. It means I have to get up earlier then I like. (ego is getting nasty) I am a night person. I would rather stay up till all hours of the night then get out of bed before 9am. As it is I have to get out of bed at 6:30am at the very latest. If I have to take a shower in the morning I have to get out of bed at the ungodly time of 6:00am. (grrrrrrr) My son get up at 5:50am and gets in the shower before me. I wake up at 6:00am to get in the shower, but alas, I can't. Son is in there. So I wait. This will make me late. (Usually I start putting the pressure on the Son about now.) Not this morning, I shall relish the extra few seconds of sleep. About 6:20am I finally turn the faucet to call up the HOT water, I wait, and wait, and wait, and finally realize, there isn't any (GRRRRRRR). The water is WARM. Just warm enough so you won't shiver while you wash your hair and body. (Shall I kill him now or wait till I'm really angry after my WARM shower?)
This would normally set my day off in a bad way, cause me to scold the Son, and be mildly irritated at the daughter.
INSTEAD... I applied the thinking above.
Here is the conversation I had with myself.
Observe the situation without letting my ego (feelings) get involved. The shower is different then usual. The time is late and I must hurry anyway if I am to be on time. I will stay present in the moment so that the precious moments while the water is still warm can be made to the best of use. This is but one moment in time. One shower that is different. One moment and then it is gone.
Whatever anger or negativity was there washed down the drain. The rest of the day went lovely and I even had the opportunity to cheer up a few people during the day.
If you would like, give the exercise a try and let me know how it went. What did you find easiest? What did you find most difficult? What were the results? Were there any thoughts that were difficult to over come? What stood out most in your mind.
8 comments:
Have you ever heard of the book, "Full Catastrophe Living"? If so, what do you think of it? My therapist is having me read it. I find that it is good for "mindful living" (living in the moment.) I started the book awhile back and stopped. I am re-starting again. Great post! Hugs, Val xox
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason
This is good stuff!!! You are so my therapist. LOL. And ...
I totally can relate. We can run the dishwasher and take one shower and maybe do one load of laundry and then we all the rest of us have to wait for the water to warm up. Or we can take two showers and do no laundry. Why, oh why, can't they make bigger hot water heaters with all the technology we have today? I am certain they do but they torment us with putting these small hot water tanks in homes where more than one person is going to live. Great thoughts in this entry. I enjoyed the recap! Helps me pick up where I haven't been able to get over here.
Hugs,
Lisa
Sorry to say I have many chances to practice not being negative. But I'm really, really trying! I believe there is happiness to be found.
xoxox
Sarah
OMG. While I was reading your last couple of entries I was cussing under my breath at my cat Princess. She was in heat a couple of weeks ago and, for some ungodly reason is in heat AGAIN. I was to the point of either beating her with a newspaper or throwing her outside and letting 'them' have her. The constant LOUD meowing is driving me crazy. Anyway, I had to stop and re-read your shower story before I realized that this can be dealt with without my blood pressure going up. I took a walk around the complex, came back and made her a bed in the spare bathroom (with food, water and litter box) and closed the door. I can barely hear her and will let her out every once in a while to roam the house, but for now, we are both OK. Thanks Rosemary.
Hugs and Luv, Joyce
I totally agree. I'm really good at keeping a positive attitude and keeping the negativity away, so much so that I know I annoy people with being too positive sometimes! Martha :-)
I totally agree. I've seen how negativity has just eaten away at people I care for.
Missie
hi rosemary, whilst i do agree with what you say and think it is great advice, i find that i don't get time to 'think' before the explosion! I have been trying tho! I have this ongoing saga about tiding the playroom, i gave up in the end, why bother trying to make him tidy it the time i spent telling him i could have done it myself! take care mrs t xxx
This is what I would call, as a Catholic, offering it up. I offer up difficulties all the time, trying not to be negative. For example, this morning, I wanted John to get me some change of address cards at the post office. My mail won't continue to be forwarded if I don't have the cards, and I don't want to write all the info out w/o the cards. Well, John for the last 3 days has slept instead of getting the cards. Instead of getting angry at him, I say, oh well. I know I am going to have to find a solution by tomorrow, but today I am not going to get upset.
What is difficult about this exercise? To try to remain positive, not going back to the things that are negative, and thinking on them. Such as: What if my mail stops being forwarded to me?
What were the results? Actually, they were pretty good. I have been practicing this for awhile. In some areas of my life. I need to do it in all areas of my life, as much as I can. This morning in this situation I am having a little harder time for some reason...
Were there any thoughts that were difficult to overcome? Yes, if I followed this correct way of thinking, and relaxed and didn't let my ego get in my way, then things would end up in a castrophy! That my needs wouldn't be provided for by the Lord. That I would forget about what I needed to do, as would John, and that we would stop getting our mail! Okay, I am going to stop thinking about that right now!
Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
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